KoolAid
by Appearances
Summary: Eeek! No final part? Nope sorry!


Author's Notes: Okay, so I got a few reviews for "Gravy Fries and   
Dirty Lollipops." Everyone said good things and asked for a sequel   
so this is for those who told me my first posted fic rocked!   
Thanks for the ego boost!  
  
By the way, since this is a sequel, if you haven't yet read "Gravy   
Fries and Dirty Lollipops," you're going to want to do that before   
reading this fic. Summary of "Gravy Fries…": Usagi writes   
Mamoru a letter telling him what she thinks of him.  
  
Also, I've decided that this is going to be part of a trilogy.   
"Gravy Fries…" was the first part, this one is the second   
and there is a third part, "Changing Weather Patterns,"   
coming in the next couple of days. So if you like this story,   
review and I'll definitely get it out faster. : ) : )  
  
Enjoy the story! And REVIEW!  
  
  
  
  
Kool-Aid  
by Appearances  
  
He didn't want to believe it at first. But the evidence   
was right there in front of his face. So he looked at it and came   
to the logical conclusion that upset him more than he thought   
anything ever would. She was avoiding him.  
  
Three weeks. That's how long he'd gone without seeing   
her. Without calling her Odongo. Without arguing with her.   
Without watching her stomp away from him angrily. He wasn't   
sure what he was more upset about: the fact that he hadn't seen   
her in three weeks ('and two days!' a voice in his mind added)   
or that he _was_ so upset about it.  
  
So she had written him a letter, told him she loved him,   
and then completely ignored him. So what?  
  
And who did she think she was anyways?! Telling him he   
was weak. Telling him he "wallowed in self pity". Telling him he   
lived for his past. He did not live to "spite" his past! Take the wanting   
to be a doctor aspect of his life. He wanted to become a doctor to   
help people. Like those doctors who had taken care of him after his   
accident hadn't done. What help had they been? They couldn't tell   
him who he was, they couldn't save his parents, they couldn't even   
find him a decent place to live!  
  
He sighed. Okay, so he was a little bitter. Could she really   
blame him?  
  
'She didn't blame you, you idiot!' the voice shouted at him.   
'She said she wanted to help you!'  
  
He glared at the nothingness in front him. He didn't need   
her help! He didn't need any help! He was fine. He had been by   
himself and taken care of himself since long before she came into   
his life. He didn't want her just barging in and changing things   
because she thought he was "lonely." Well, he wasn't! He was   
perfectly fine and happy by himself. And that's the way things   
were going to stay!  
  
Besides, he didn't like Usagi. The mere thought of having a   
feeling other than…than…what exactly did he feel towards his   
bunny?  
  
His?  
  
Mind spinning with all the unwanted thoughts, Mamoru   
stood and walked towards his kitchen for something to eat. The   
voice in his head finally decided it was time for drastic measures.   
It was time to make the fool realize what that strange feeling coming   
from his heart was. The past three weeks, the word hadn't been   
brought up in hopes that the fool would realize it on his own, but it   
was up to the voice now. So the voice took a deep breath and prepared   
for the fool to be brought to his knees with the word: 'Food won't   
negate the fact that you love her, baka!'  
  
Mamoru started to tremble. Trembling was good, the voice   
decided.  
  
He loved her?  
  
He couldn't love her. He had never loved anyone. Loving   
meant being hurt when they left you or decided you weren't good   
enough for them.  
  
But it still felt so right to love his Usako.  
  
Usako? Where had that come from?  
  
Usako…err…Usagi was clumsy and stupid and idiotic.   
He knew practically nothing about her except her idiocy.   
  
'Oh please,' the voice that Mamoru was seriously beginning   
to hate said. 'Don't even try to deny that you know Usagi. Go ahead   
and ask yourself what you know about her.'  
  
Okay, fine. What did he know about Usagi?  
  
Plenty.  
  
She never really walked. She more like bounced. She was   
always happy, except when talking to him. She loved chocolate and   
pretty much any food. Besides carrots. She had the most gorgeous   
blue eyes, a shade lighter than the night sky and a few shades darker   
than the water of the fountain in the park. Her hair wasn't just blonde;   
oh no, it was golden! It shimmered and shined with every turn of her   
head and looked as soft as feathers.  
  
He sat down at his kitchen table. He loved her. There was no   
mistaking it. He loved her! He could deny it as long as he wanted, but   
it didn't matter. The heart wasn't something that was easily   
swayed from its path. He might as well just accept it.  
  
So he did.  
  
Well, he knew he loved her, but he still had two questions   
left: how did she know he was Tuxedo Kamen and how the hell   
did she find out about his Disney movie collection?  
  
  
  
  
It was close to midnight. He had grown extremely depressed   
since earlier that day. That morning he had figured out he loved her.   
And she was still no where to be found so he could tell her. He sighed   
as he sank down into his couch and placed his head in his hands. Did   
life just suck for him or was it like this for everyone?  
  
A headache was his answer as he sensed Sailor Moon's   
transformation.   
  
Oh yea. Life sucked.  
  
He transformed and was bounding towards the fight within   
moments. "Damn youma," he muttered on the way. There he was, in   
the middle of extreme depression and they couldn't just leave the city   
alone for a couple of hours so he could wallow in self pity?  
  
He arrived at the park - 'Of course, the park,' he thought bitterly,   
'since when can the Negaverse come up with something original?' -   
and hid in the nearest tree to observe the battle and then leap in to rescue   
the day when the time came.  
  
But he was already a little late.  
  
As he settled into the tree, a blast was finishing its path of   
destruction, at the end of which was Sailor Moon. She was too far   
away for him to push her out of the way in time, but he tried desperately   
to make it anyways while throwing as many roses as he could at the   
offending youma. "Sailor Moon!" he yelled and watched as she jumped   
narrowly out of the way, the blast still ripping the side of her stomach   
practically to shreds. She had jumped towards him, causing them both   
to roll on the ground for a little. Sailor Moon ended up landing on top   
of him, blushing slightly and getting up quickly. He saw the blood   
gushing from her wound as she stood and anger grew in him towards   
the youma. How dare it hurt his love?  
  
What was he saying?  
  
Hadn't he only that morning found out his feelings towards his   
Usako? Then why did he have these feelings for Sailor Moon all of a sudden?  
  
He watched, still on the ground, as she clutched her stomach   
with one arm and hurled her tiara towards the youma with the other.   
Gathering his wits, he leapt up to the nearest tree, watching as she   
conversed briefly with her friends after the youma was destroyed.   
Sailor Moon reassured the other senshi that she was fine, before they   
all split up to go home.  
  
She might have convinced her friends she was okay, but   
Tuxedo Kamen still had his doubts. He began to follow her, silently.  
  
He convinced himself it was to make sure she got home   
okay. The traitorous voice argued that it was to find out who she   
was and find out if he really loved her.  
  
He chose that moment to start ignoring the hated voice.  
  
  
  
  
  
She had a tingly feeling in the back of her neck like someone   
was watching her. Quickly turning a corner, she ducked into an alley.   
A figure in black proceeded past her hiding place slowly, as if looking   
for someone. She smiled as she recognized the masked hero.  
  
"Hello, Tuxedo Kamen-sama," Sailor Moon said, startling the   
man. He turned to find her leaning against the brick wall in the alley,   
both arms clutching her stomach tightly. "Is there something I can help   
you with?"  
  
Tuxedo Kamen took a step towards her, resulting in the   
heroine taking a few steps deeper into the alleyway. "I just want to make   
sure you're okay."  
  
"Don't worry, I'm fine," she said, smiling. "It's one of the perks   
of being Sailor Moon. It'll be a mere scar in a couple of hours." He looked   
disbelieving but she didn't care to elaborate. She just wanted out of the   
situation as quickly as possible. The klutz-turned-superhero had not avoided   
the man that was in front of her for three weeks for nothing. 'It was more   
than three weeks,' a voice said.  
  
There was silence between them for a minute before she turned   
to jump onto the rooftop and away from him. She stopped when she   
heard him whisper, "Why do I love you?" She froze - whether in happiness   
or fear, she would never figure out - and listened as his footsteps came to   
a halt directly behind her. "I don't know anything about you; I don't know   
you're favorite color or what you do for fun. I don't know your name!   
Why do I love you?" he continued in whispers, his breath touching the   
back of her neck lightly and sending shivers down her spine.  
  
"You might not know me," she started, her voice so soft he almost   
didn't hear, "but I know you."  
  
"How do you know me?" he asked, touching her shoulder gently   
and guiding her in turning towards him. "Do I know you other than when   
fighting?"  
  
She nodded, refusing to look him in the eye. She would crack   
if she did; break down and tell him her identity and how much she loved   
him and who he was and just everything. She would tell him that the sun   
wouldn't rise the next day if he asked her to say that. The intensity of   
her emotions scared her and so her gaze was kept at his feet as he asked   
her another question.  
  
"How is it that you know who I am when I don't even know that?"  
  
She didn't respond so he placed a hand under her chin, forcing   
her eyes to look into his and pleaded silently for her to tell him the truth.   
His truth. The truth he had been searching for all his life. A tear slid   
down her face. He cupped her cheek and wiped it away with his thumb,   
leaving his hand there afterwards. "You do know. You think you don't   
because you don't remember some things but the memories are there.   
They're just hidden deep inside of you, waiting to be let into the light   
again. I only just recently remembered. You have to wait for your heart to tell   
your brain you're ready to know."  
  
His face fell. "I am ready," he whispered, letting his hand drop   
from her face.  
  
"I know you think you are, but you're not," she said, taking a step   
back. It was silly, but she just couldn't regain her composure with him so   
close. Shaking her head to clear it of the overwhelming - but wonderful,   
she added - smell of roses and musk, she continued. "You aren't ready to   
confront your past because you don't want to accept who you are. Like I said,   
you know who you are. Your past is something that shapes you. But it's not  
_you_."  
  
Tuxedo Kamen sighed. The day was just full of questions for him.   
But no real answers were in sight. It didn't seem like Sailor Moon would be   
the one to answer them, either. She had just sent him in circles since the   
beginning of the conversation. Speaking of which, his original question   
was avoided altogether. He repeated it: "Why do I love you?" She wouldn't   
look at him again. Which meant answering the question was going to be   
a no from her as well. Maybe he could get her to answer another question   
that was really bugging him. "Is it possible to love three people at once?"  
  
She could feel her heart cracking into tiny pieces. Her heart was a   
fragile teapot that had been praised for its beauty for only a moment   
before someone dropped it. It was now in a million tiny pieces. He loved   
someone else? Would he chose someone else over her? She just wanted him   
to be happy. If that meant he was going to love someone else, she supposed   
she'd just have to sweep up the broken teapot as best she could and glue it   
back together.  
  
He still expected an answer from her so she choked out an, "I suppose."  
  
She supposed he noticed her depression at the thought that he loved   
others. He hastily tried to explain himself, stuttering a little while saying,   
"I do love you, just so you know. But there's this princess in my dreams.   
And my Usako. It took me three weeks to realize that I love Usako, but   
I can't deny it any longer. She knows me. And I know her. My princess   
seems to know about my past. I protect you in battles. But out of the   
three of you, I know my Usako. She's there all the time. Not just when   
I'm asleep or when a youma needs to be destroyed." He threw his hands   
in the air in frustration and turned from her. "I don't know what to do!   
I feel so torn."  
  
He looked about to continue, but she placed a shaky hand on   
his shoulder. He was scared to face her so he chose to not turn towards   
her and she didn't make him. She just stood on her tiptoes, her mouth   
near his ear and a watery smile on her face, and whispered, "Maybe that   
decision won't be so hard to make, Endymion."  
  
Before he could turn around, she had jumped to the rooftops   
and was out of his sight.  
  
  
  
  
Endymion? What had possessed her to call him that? He was   
probably more confused now than ever. 'Good going, baka,' she berated   
herself. She continued to leap from rooftop to rooftop, playing the   
conversation again in her head. She smiled. "He loves me!" she shouted for   
the world and heavens to hear, though the only one that cared was the moon.   
She felt so free and happy. She could barely contain the urge to scream,   
"He loves me!" over and over again.  
  
Jumping down from the rooftops, the heroine landed in a crouch,   
feeling once more the aftereffects of a battle. Not to mention, a terrible pain   
shooting through her stomach area. Wincing, she remembered the wound   
she had received that night and hurried off towards her house.  
  
Detransforming before climbing the tree next to her window and   
then sneaking into her bedroom, Usagi lay on her bed for quite sometime,   
still clutching her stomach. She finally got the strength to once again   
move and headed for her bathroom with a needle and thread. Locking   
the door behind her, Usagi began to clean her wound, noting the signs   
of an infection appearing around it.  
  
It was going to be a long night.  
  
She smiled through the pain, though. "He loves me!" she whispered   
to the gash.  
  
  
  
  
He had been so surprised that she had pulled such a smooth disappearing   
act that he had just stared at the spot she had occupied for a few minutes.   
Remembering her parting words, he asked to the air in front of him, "Why did   
she call me Endymion?"  
  
Tuxedo Mask shook his head and headed off towards his own home.   
He was so lost in his own thoughts, he didn't comprehend the joyous scream   
of "He loves me!" somewhere behind him.  
  
  
  
  
  
The End (for now)  
  
Okay, so the title of this fic was from a song by Bowling For Soup. I have   
the lyrics in case anyone cared to analyze how they fit together lol.   
Here they are:  
  
~Kool-Aid by Bowling For Soup~  
I was sitting all by myself just thinking  
And know I'm lying awake in bed,   
I can't forget about what you said.  
I tell myself, "hey man you should know better  
You've gotta act like nothings wrong  
You've gotta stand up and be strong."  
Don't blame me for butting in  
These effin walls are closing in  
And if everything does not seem cool  
It's cause I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.  
Everything's fine and I don't know why I do this to myself  
I've got this thing with losing my mind  
I wish I could tell you all the things I want to say  
Somehow I think I will in time  
I don't suppose I feel like we are sinking  
It's not as bad as yesterday  
And you can make everything OK.  
If you start to feel like we are nowhere  
I'll have the memories of you  
and, you can think about me too.  
  
  
That's about all I have to say besides watch for the third part in a few days! 


End file.
